Being a parent is probably one of the toughest jobs in the world. The pressure of providing the right upbringing to our kids is constantly upon us. Everything we do or say has an impact on their thought process. On top of that, every kid is different. So, each kid needs to be dealt with in different ways. But how would you know what your kid is like in the first place?
Kids often do talk a lot. They have a lot of curiosity dwelling in their minds, which need to be answered rightly. That is the reason they would bombard you with questions every now and then. But they are not very good at expressing themselves. Hence, to know them better, it is important for you as a parent to ask them the right questions.
For all those parents struggling hard to know their kids, here is a list of some of the most important questions to ask kids to get to know them:
Questions to ask kids to get to know them:
1. What is your favorite color?
Kids learn about colors from a very young age at school. They really get excited about identifying different colors to color their sketchbook with. Long before you know, they have already picked their favorite and least favorite color.
Asking them about their favorite colors really gets them exciting. You can then ask them why they have picked that particular color as their favorite. Their answers might give you an understanding of how they perceive certain colors.
Most kids dislike black color as they tend to associate ugliness with it. If you learn that your kid is having similar perception, it would help you in changing their perception about it.
2. What is your favorite subject?
Asking them about their favorite subjects would give you an idea about their interest in studies. Most kids would dislike a certain subject only because they are finding it difficult to comprehend or maybe they are not fond of their teacher.
It could help you in finding out what issues they are facing to come up with a suitable solution for the same.
3. Who are your friends?
Kids start making friends in school. At this age they really look forward to meeting their friends everyday and spending time with them. There are occasional fights too.
Asking your kids about their friends will help you know if your kid is facing any difficulties in making friends or if his/her friends are ignoring him/her. You could take appropriate actions to help him make some friends.
4. What is your favorite thing about yourself?
This is a very important question for kids of every age. This question never gets old and should be asked to adults as well. It is very important for us to love ourselves. We often consider ourselves as not worthy of love and respect and let others treat us the same way.
It is important to inculcate a habit of self-love amongst kids from a very young age. Asking you kids this question will help you understand how they perceive themselves.
5. What is your favorite family tradition?
Asking this question would help you learn about their interests in family tradition. If they are not able to come up with any answers, you can explain to them the importance of family traditions. This way, you can make them excited about family traditions in the future.
6. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Kids always get excited about sharing what they want to be when they grow up. This is undoubtedly a favorite question of every kid. The answer to this question changes everyday because everything seems to excite them when they are kids and have a little understanding of what they love or want to do.
You should often ask this question to your kids. It will help you understand what keeps going around in their minds. Ask them why they chose a particular profession to know what they feel about it. It will give you the chance to explain to them the importance of every occupation and how they have the right to be whatever they want
7. Have you ever helped anyone and how?
It is important to teach you kids the lessons of kindness towards others. Ask them if they have very helped any person or animal and how. It will help you how they feel about others. Encourage them to be compassionate and helpful towards others.
8. What is your idea of a perfect day?
Children often come up with very interesting answers to this question. Their idea of a perfect day is always filled with fun things to do. It will help you know more about what they love doing and what they are missing in their lives. Ask this question to know how to make their days perfect to make them happy and content.
9. Has anyone touched you very inappropriately?
Physical abuse incidents are tremendously increasing in many places across the globe. You cannot expect your children to open up on their own unless they know what’s happening. You never know who might be behaving inappropriately with your children.
Ask them if they have been touched by someone inappropriately to know if they have ever been abused by anyone. This is an important question every parent should ask their kids to keep them safe and secure.
What questions to ask your teenagers?
As your kids grow up, they start having a better understanding of the things around them. They start hiding emotions, they have secrets, they develop certain fears and experiences, which they do not like to talk about. Sometimes they want to talk about things but shy away from expressing.
Hence, as your kids grow up you need to come up with different questions to get them into talking. Given below are some of the important questions to ask teenagers to get them to talk:
10. What do you see yourself doing in a few years?
Teenage is a stage when your kids start dreaming about a lot of things. It is important to ask them where they see themselves in a few years to understand what they are planning to do with their lives. You get to know about their dreams and ambitions. It will help you in guiding them towards the right path to achieve whatever they aspire.
11. Who is your role model and why?
We all have role models or people we want to be like. Kids too get inspired by many people in their life and want to become like them when they grow up. It could be their parents, grandparents, teachers, or anyone they have seen in the movies or read about in books.
Also, ask what is it about them that has motivated them. Why do they want to become like them? This really helps you in understanding what kind of personality your child has.
12. What is the toughest thing about school?
Let them talk about the difficulties they face in school to help them overcome them. School is not the same for everyone. It is often quite difficult for certain kids who are relatively introverted and less smart. Bullies are also very common in school. It is important for you to know how your kids feel about going to school every day.
13. What is your favorite book?
Ask them about their favorite book, its story, and what they like about it the most. If your child is an avid reader, he/she will have a lot of things to talk about when it comes to books. If your child is not fond of reading, you can talk to him/her about different books to inculcate reading habits.
14. What do you think of bullying?
Being a target of bullying severely affects the mental state of your kids. Asking this question will help you learn if they have ever been bullied. It is also important to know if your children are bullying others. Only when you know you can stop them from repeating the same in the future.
15. What makes you angry?
This question will help you in understanding your child’s temper. It is very important to teach kids the art of anger management. You can explain to them how anger is not the right reaction for every situation and control their aggressiveness.
What questions to ask your kids to keep the conversation going?
Asking the right questions is not enough. You must know how to get them into talking rather than simply answering your questions with a one-word answer. Here are a few questions you can ask them to make sure the conversation does not get stalled:
1. Why don’t you tell me more about it?
If your children are telling you about any particular thing they like, ask them more about it to know what they feel about the same. Give them a chance to explain their experience or feelings about the same.
2. Oh really? Then what happened? What did you do?
If they are telling you about a particular incident they encountered, ask more about it. Instead of replying with “that’s nice” or “okay, act surprised and show your interest to know more. Ask them more about the particular situation and what they did after that.
3. How do you feel about it?
Asking them how they feel about a particular situation or incident could help them open up to you about their opinions about the same. It is important to know how they are feeling inside and how the incident affected them.
4. What are you planning to do about it?
This question will help you understand what is in their mind with regard to the steps they want to take to handle a situation. If they are clueless about what to do, you can talk them into doing what is appropriate for them. You can make them understand how certain things need to be dealt with.
5. Have you talked about it with someone?
This will give you an idea about the people in their lives they share things with. Kids are generally close to their friends, teachers, grandparents, siblings, etc. You will get to know how they are bonding with everyone around them.
What questions to ask your child each year?
The ritual of asking questions never grows old no matter how old your child grows. You should make it an annual ritual to ask a few evergreen questions to your children besides the ones mentioned above.
1. What is your favorite memory from the last year?
Ask them about their favorite memory from last year that they would cherish for a lifetime. Ask them why they love it so much. This would help you learn what makes your kids happy. You could go on to create more such memories with your children.
2. What is the worst thing that happened to you last year?
You might not always be aware of what your kids go through when you are not around. This question can let you know about any bad memories your kids might be having. They would open up about what happened and why it bothers them so much. You can help them in getting over such bad memories, forget about it and move on.
3. What are your New Year resolutions?
Inculcate the habit of making new year resolutions in your children. Encourage them to do new and wonderful things every year. Then ask them what they have as new year resolutions to help them achieve the same.
4. What do you like about your new class?
As your child set feet on a new class, ask them what they like about it. Ask them about the new books, subjects, classroom, and teachers. Ask them how they are coping up with all the changes.
5. What is your biggest dream?
We all have dreams, so do children. Make it a habit to ask them about their biggest dream every year and help them achieve it. Always motivate them to dream big.
6. What do you feel about environment change?
Climate change is real and we are already seeing its worst consequences on the environment in the last couple of years. It is important to know how your kids feel about climate change to shape them into being responsible citizens.
Ask them what they feel about the degrading environmental conditions and how they could help to make a change? This way you could get them to talk about environmental issues and how we should all learn to coexist with other species.
7. What do you feel about gender inequality?
Gender inequality is deep-rooted in our minds since childhood. Parents often knowingly or unknowingly differentiate their kids on the basis of gender from a young age. It is important to ask them what they feel about it to understand how they perceive the opposite gender. If our kids are not taught to respect other genders at a young age, they will hardly learn it when they grow up.
8. What are your views on alcohol and drugs?
Teenagers often fall prey to drugs and alcohol due to the wrong influence. Your kids could be the victims or their friends. You never know who is trying to sell drugs or alcohol to your kids when you are not around. Ask them how they feel about these things. They might open up about incidents that might need your attention.
- How often should you ask questions to your kids?
Make sure not to bombard your kids with questions every single day. You can ask them questions every week but make sure not to put all the questions at once. Asking 2-3 questions at a time is enough for them to not feel exhausted about it.
It is important to keep the excitement alive. You do not want to bore them with all the question-answer sessions.
2. Should there be any fixed schedule for asking questions?
No! Just place your questions at the right time while your kid is engaged in doing something. The chances of getting answers are more when you ask them casually rather than sounding serious.
However, for teenagers, make sure to spend some quality time with them doing something together once in a while to get to know them.
3. Can we ask others to ask questions to our kids?
Sometimes, you can ask others to put forward certain questions but not all the time. You can ask your relatives, teacher, or their siblings. There are certain questions kids do not like answering to their parents especially when they grow up.
However, parents should themselves ask their kids more questions to make them open up to them.
4. Do children like to be asked questions?
Some children enjoy it while some don’t. It is mainly the introvert kids that have problems answering questions. So, you should be able to tactfully put the questions to make them answer.