How do you deal with the temper of your child | Steps to Overcome

how do you deal with the temper of your child

Social skills are not always explicitly taught us while we are growing up. We pick them along the way with observations and interactions throughout our childhood. There could be many things we understood in the later years of our life, but that doesn’t mean our little ones will have to go through our path. 

As parents, we want nothing but the best of everything and try to protect them from any harm. We want our children to learn to express their emotions without hesitation and benefit from our life lessons. 

Expressing all their emotions indicates that you will have to deal with extremes as well. It is almost sure that you’d have to deal with temper tantrums of your child. But since you are on this page, it is not a foreign worry. 

You might now understand how do you deal with the temper of your child and end up in a shouting match or might freeze up. All this temper tantrum can be a bit frustrating and irritable. 

What are Tantrums? 

Tantrums are an uncontrolled outburst of anger & frustration that usually involve intense emotional distress. When talking to kids, we can associate it with explosions of anger, disorganized behavior. 

Keep in mind that anger is a common emotion in all humans and can be excessively expressed at all stages of life, from the worst toddler tantrums to adults heated arguments. But to live in relative peace and harmony, we must learn to suppress anger and not get ahead of ourselves.  

The age of 1-3 is the most common for parents to witness temper tantrums from their children. Why, you ask? This is because in these years of a child’s development. The inception of social and emotional skills takes place. This is the time of a kid’s life when they are still enduring experiences, discovering new boundaries of independence, and nourishing their way to be a good human. They are yet to understand that the way they behave can influence how people behave around them. 

What You Can Do When Your Kids Burst With Tantrums:

Now that you know what tantrums are, the question is how do you deal with the temper of your child? Here are some key points you can do know when your child is throwing tantrums:

Keep your calm

Dealing with anger with your young one can be a critical situation. Make sure that you don’t take the lecture or threaten the method. Arguing with your kid would also won’t result in any positive outcome; instead might worsen the situation. 

It is crucial that you keep patience and talk to your child. Ask them what the reason behind this behavior of them. 

Ignore tantrum 

The instant suggested reaction for parents would be ignorance. Ignoring lousy behavior would tell your child that throwing a temper tantrum won’t be tolerated and is unacceptable. 

When you are outside and dealing with their tantrums, if you feel your child can harm the public, then it is suggested to keep them within your sight. It would help if you immediately took them to a safe environment until they are calmed. 

Keep any dangerous item away from them if they suddenly have an urge to throw things in anger. If you witness this at home, move your child to a safe room until they are calmed. 

Appreciate your child for calming down

It is essential to make your kid to know that good choices and positive behaviors are always appreciated. Rewarding them would leave a good impression on them to understand good behavior is recognized. 

Try to be precise in your praise; for instance, “great job! You used your indoor voice and not screaming”. Statements of such kind would make it clear about what was wrong and what is acceptable behavior that is expected. 

Use a time out (if needed) 

This is when the child would be grounded for some time to allow them to think about their mistake with a calm mind. Using a time out will benefit them by giving time to calm down whilst keeping them away from the distraction like mobile, video games, or television.  

These can be effective discipline strategies. Please don’t give them these privileges until they have entirely realized or done their grounded chores. (that you assign, for instance, “washing the dishes for a week”) 

Acknowledge their feelings

Ignoring the problem cannot be the solution. It is essential that you find temper tantrum causes and management tactics, and the first step is to acknowledge your toddler’s feelings. 

It’ll be good to let them know that you understand what they are going through, the frustration, anger, and offer to help. For some children who are seeking attention, acknowledgment is all that is required.

Teach your Child to Label Emotions  

Young children learn to experience new emotions every day but not necessarily understand them. They might feel anger, disappointment, irritation, but don’t know how to put it into words and so they lash out. 

Showing tantrums is their way of expressing these feelings. For instance, if a child is disappointed by something, they are lashing out on you to show their disapproval. They are feeling it but don’t know what it’s called. 

You may say, “your face is tomato red, and you’re crying. This means that you’re angry right now”. This will help your child be assured that the word to describe their emotion is “anger.” 

Another way of teaching your child emotions is by an emotion chart that contains multiple expressions with their emotions tagged. This chart will help your child learn with a represented facial feature. 

Teach Anger Management Techniques to your kid 

The best you can help your child is by teaching them some coping skills for temper tantrums. You can teach anger management techniques specific to their traits. A good start will be with deep breaths to calm the mind and body when your little one shows tantrums. Counting to 10, reading motivations, phrases, or quick walls might be helpful as well. 

Teaching them a variety of lessons such as impulse control skills and self-discipline might be a good thing for his overall development. Practice these exercises with them.  

Set an example

Our little ones always look up to us and observe our behavior all the time. Therefore, if they see that you can stay composed even when you’re angry and frustrated, the kids will begin to copy your behavior. 

Signs of a Temper Tantrums:

  • Screaming
  • Stiffening limbs
  • Kicking
  • Falling down
  • Running 
  • Pinching
  • Flailing arms and legs
  • Whining
  • Hitting
  • Breath-holding 
  • Breaking things 
  • Show aggression 

Now that you know how a temper tantrum is. Let’s figure out the science behind toddler tantrums. 

It is possible to think that your kid is the most unreasonable human, but that’s not the case. Digging out what’s going on in that little head of your child can help handle them better or help not get pissed and help keep your calm. 

The science behind the toddler tantrums states that kids at the age of two are blossoming their personalities. The area of their brain is still building that allows them to control their feelings. This is the time when they understand a sense of self and that they are their person. 

The section of our brain is an integral part of their development; they spot new feelings and emotions, like pride in accomplishments, earning playtime, and more. 

This process of sprouting new connections between brain cells at a startling rate can be quite challenging and confusing for children. Our brain’s part present behind the forehead, the prefrontal cortex, helps us with our cognitive tasks. This part keeps maturing into early adulthood. Therefore, you will have to endure this stage patiently while helping the confusing time of the child. 

Tantrum VS Meltdown

It is still a misconception that tantrums and meltdowns are the same for many people but are not. They are undoubtedly very similar when you see a child experience either of them. We are going to lay characteristics of tantrums and meltdowns to help you distinguish between them. Learning about them will help you learn how to respond and support your child in a better way. , so that you get a better view of How Do You Deal With The Temper Of Your Child.

What is a Meltdown? 

Meltdown is seen when a child is overwhelmed. It is the result of sensory overload. Meltdown happens when the information is too much for the child’s brain to process. You can say that it is a reaction to an overwhelmed feeling. 

For some kids, meltdown happens when there is extensive sensory input (information coming from their senses). They might not like certain sights, tastes, sounds, or environment. This is also known as sensory overload. 

Too much of any feeling that a child is not about to completely process can lead to meltdown. It is a reaction to trying to process extensive sensory input all at the same time. This can be quite overwhelming—not only for the little ones but also for us adults. 

To deal with any problem, we should first have thorough information about it in order to find an appropriate solution. To understand the difference between a general tantrum and a severe meltdown one should know what they are. 

We have created a chart for a better understanding of the difference between Tantrum VS Meltdown. 

Difference between Tantrum & Meltdown:

An outburst (possibly from anger or frustration)A reaction from an overwhelmed feeling
Kids can cry, shout, lash out, scream, or might hold their breathKids can run away, withdraw, yell, cry etc.
Kids usually have a little control over themselvesMeltdown is a body reaction when a kid is uncontrollable.
They stop with tantrum once they attain the desired result
(yet it is possible that tantrums turn into meltdowns)
Meltdowns can get stopped when the kid is in a changing
environment or different from what they were experiencing.
They might cool down when they are tired.

What to support kids to respond to temper tantrums? When To Worry about Toddler Temper Tantrums:

You should talk to a professional when

  • Temper tantrum lasts a more extended period of time
  • Happens multiple times a day
  • 5+ years of experiencing it
  • It’s getting more severe
  • Destroys property of your’s and others
  • Holds breath
  • Experiencing stomach aches, headaches, or anxiety

Therapeutic Interventions For Temper Tantrums

Intact Patience is the Key

The weak and challenging moments that your child is having, you need to be their rock. Losing your patience and giving adverse reactions like shouting, frowning, or getting upset, would only land you in more trouble. Children are sensitive, and this might get them more riles up and harder to calm down. 

A Home Intervention 

You can perform Traditional Therapeutic interventions for temper tantrums at home as well. You can have a sit-down with your child and ask them to tell you openly what it is that they behave a certain way and teach how this is not good. 

Offer Comfort

Sometimes all that a child needs is comfort and to feel that they are loved. You can tell them how much you care for them or how precious they are. Give a hug, trying indulging with a physical activity with them, or offering playtime with them. 

Validate their Feelings 

Trying to understand their perspective is important but how? 

Well, you can simply validate that you understand what they are feeling; for instance, you can say, “we can go for buying some ice creams or chocolate  as an exception but only because you are this upset. 

This will make them realize that as a treat for cheering up and feel validated that their feelings are respected and understood. 

Final Words

We hope that this blog has resolved in some way about your mesery of how do you deal with the temper of your child. It is always recommended to talk to professionals when it’s about your child’s physical or mental health. 

Taking your children into activities and conversations should be the first thing you should do before extreme measures. We all love our children, and they should never feel hard treated. When you get them to solve these problems, it would make you a good parent.

About Kavi Ranjan

How do you deal with the temper of your child | Steps to OvercomeHi, I'm Kavi Ranjan. An Entrepreneur, Investor, and an Activity Explorer. Having conducted various kids activity and experiential programs in the past, I am sharing my knowledge and experiences for better experiential experiences for young minds

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