Parents, you can call them the guiding stars of your life. Throughout your childhood, and growing up, they are there to hold your hands. From cheering you on at the bleachers to taking your pictures at prom, and kissing the pain of your bruised knees away, they are there to hold your hands through thick and thin. Yet, the once inconceivable thought of separating from them becomes more of a reality with each passing day that we grow up, which brings us to the question, why do children abandon their parents at their old age?
The causes of conflict between children and parents may vary. Children often cut off relationships with their parents because of abuse or trauma they might have faced when young.
Other reasons behind kids ignoring their parents include growing up with an alcoholic or a drug-abusing parent, issues related to money and property, etc.
Although an exact reason cannot be pinpointed to be the answer behind the recurring question of why do children abandon their parents, there are some common themes that have reoccurred throughout time.
If you find yourself thinking “my child disowned me” often, read on to know about all the possible reasons it might have happened for.
Why do children abandon their parents:
1. Feeling Unloved:
sometimes, your children may feel like you didn’t love them enough. This might have happened because you were unable to express your love for them in a sufficiently open manner, or lived in a time that did not allow you to express your love. At times, your children might have gone through a scarring event that you don’t even remember. This makes them harbor resentment against you and act on it later.
2. A Broken Family:
Abandoned parents often have a history of separation or divorce from their significant others. Children blame their parents for such occurrences. Even if you remain in contact with each other after separating, it may create a lasting trauma that your children do not get over even in adulthood. The rift ultimately results in the children separating from their parents in their old age.
3. Babying Your Child Way Into Their Adulthood:
The society is structured in a way that makes the parents the caregivers and guardians of their young wards. However, oftentimes, it is difficult for a parent to give up that role even after their children have reached adulthood. This results in parents giving unsolicited advice, disapproving of their life choices, and dictating how they live their lives, etc. If you think you are doing this to your kids, you might want to consider stopping it! It is a serious and common reason for conflict and why youth are abandoning their elderly parents.
4. Conflicting Values:
Children often grow up with ideas different from those of their parents. Parents fail to accept the fact that their kids are adults with different values. This creates conflict on both ends and results in the children abandoning their parents.
Marriage is a significant cause of conflict between parents and children. It is especially common in marriages that occur between families of vastly different societal or cultural backgrounds. Other times, the parents and the spouse don’t see eye to eye or are not accepting of each other’s presence. The resulting conflict ends up in the parents getting abandoned while the children move on with their lives.
6. Toxicity in the Relationship:
While the definition of toxic differs from person to person, generally a relationship is considered toxic if one person’s presence is harmful to the other one. The dampening effect may be emotional, physical, or spiritual. If this is the case between a child and his or her parents, the child may want to remove himself/herself from the situation and live an independent life.
7. Having Narcissistic Parents:
Having parents that only focus only on their own needs is pretty difficult for a child to bear. Constant criticism and lack of appreciation from parents can lead to broken self-esteem.
8. Lack of Empathy:
Kids these days are surprisingly lacking in empathy towards old people. A difference in generational values and lifestyle contribute greatly towards this phenomenon. It leads to an increase in the abandonment of parents in their old age.
How to empathize kids right from childhood not to abandon their parents?
Parents who get abandoned by their children in old age find it hard to cope up with the situation. However, if you are worried that this may happen to you, it is important that you teach them to value old people from their young age.
Respect your parents and spend time with them to set up a good example for your kids to follow. Cultivate a sense of empathy towards the old in your children and spend quality time with them as much as possible.
A feeling of friendship and mutual respect creates a healthy relationship without any toxicity. Remember, communicating with your children is key if you want to strengthen your bond with them as they grow up.
To conclude, cultivating a healthy relationship with your children with enough respect, communication, and space is the bridge that will ultimately lead to a happy, healthy family that stays together despite all storms.