How to tell if your child is an introvert or extrovert

We characterize a child in usually two types: Introvert and Extrovert. Many times, we get confused by seeing our child’s behavior as the little beings are too curious about various things. The concept of being extrovert or introvert was first conceptualized by Carl Jung and further developed by Katherine Briggs and Isabel Briggs Meyers. How to tell if your child is an introvert or extrovert depends on their innate preferences for interconnecting with the world. 

Kids can be of any character from being too socially cordial and outgoing to extremely self-contained and absorbed or introspective. Let’s see what exactly introvert and extrovert are:

What is meant by introvert?

When a child is okay and energized by being alone by himself or herself can be called an introvert. The energy of kids with this attribute gets drained easily if there is a lot of people around them. Moreover, their energy tends to flow inwards, and hence, these children love to remain in their world of inner experience, concepts, and ideas. Introvert kids can happily spend a long time with their privacy, thoughts, and solitude without the feeling of getting bored. In fact, they get stimulated while being alone.

What is meant by extrovert?

When a child is okay and happy while being surrounded by other people, he/she can be called an extrovert. These kids enjoy socializing. They love to involve in the activities happening around them in the world. Their energy flows outwards. They are extremely engaging with the outside environment, and they interact with others in a friendly manner. 

Now the question is: 

How to tell if your child is an introvert and extrovert?

The first and most common remedy is to watch them when they are in their natural vicinity.

Observe these things:

  • Is the energy of your child flowing out of him/her?
  • Does your child want to spend time with other people?
  • Is your kid seeking another activity?
  • Is your kid thinking out loud?
  • Does your child learn by participating in the act?
  • Is your baby speaking loudly in general?
  • Does your youngster love action and variety?
  • Does your little one get excited whenever he/she interacts with other people?
  • Is your kid seeking company most of the time?

Exceptional qualities of extroverts that you must know:

  • They can be shy.
  • They also require alone time if they are fatigued.
  • Extrovert kids who love technology can spend hours alone dealing with it.
  • They are creative and can be deep thinkers. 

How to take care of Introverts and Extroverts Children?

At a glance:

Introvert ChildrenExtrovert Children
Respect their privacyRespect their freedom
Allow them to observe first when they are in a new situationAllow them to explore various things and discuss them
Don’t humiliate them in publicPraise them in public
Never interrupt them when they are doing somethingRespect their involvement in various activities
Don’t force them to act like extrovertsGive them various options
Help them make friendsRespect their enthusiasm
Allow them ample time to think before they answerSurprise them with good things
Don’t scold them in publicShow them verbal and physical gestures of affection in public
Teach them on a one-on-one basisLet them be themselves
Notify them a few minutes before finishing a taskAllow them to dive in any activity directly

Now, let’s deal in detail on how to tell if your child is an introvert or extrovert and how you can deal accordingly for their growth and development.

Help them recognize themselves:

It is very tough to recognize introvert or extrovert tendencies when your child is very young. As the kids grow old, you can ask random questions for determining their actual tendencies. Once you catch their tendencies, you can get to the bottom of their reactions, opinions, and difficulties related to everything that happen in their life.

Let them spend time both alone and with others:

Once you become sure about your child’s nature, help him or her to enjoy the benefits. In case, he/she is an introvert and is concentrating on a task for long, allow them the freedom to be alone at home and complete it. On the other hand, if the kid is an extrovert but is not getting the opportunity to get out of home and mingle with others, help them in this regard. Let them be in their comfort zone and don’t force them into something that they are not wanting to do.

Make the little one understand how nature affects their moods:

Once the little geniuses have understood about their tendencies as an introvert or extrovert, you can now progress the conversation about the result of their actions and reactions on a day to day basis. It will make them confident and secure if they get to know that their responses are absolutely normal and natural. 

It helps mostly in cases where there are two or more siblings. The introvert among them feels wrong just because he/she avoids being in limelight like the other ones. Your guidance will make things clear for both kinds of children and they will boast a positive perspective. 

Proper communication will boost the self-awareness of the kids:

If your child is self-aware, it is good. It is a sign of maturity. Self-awareness helps in making life easier. If you still confused about identifying your baby, ask him/her if she prefer being in large groups or with few close friends. Again, you can ask if your child likes to play with friends or prefer to be left alone when tired. Their answer will give you the notion of their actual nature and you can continue explaining to them what is happening. Give them a situation and ask how they feels about it. You have to connect the cause and effect.

What if your child is a combination of both introvert and extrovert?

In this discussion concerning how to tell if your child is an introvert or extrovert, a crucial aspect has to deal with the combination of both.

You must remember that no one is one-dimensional. Each personality type possesses two introverted as well as two extroverted mental processes. A person can have extroverted thinking amalgamated with introverted feeling. 

Again, the confusion arises when the new-age children stick to Netflix or Cartoon Network at a stretch without the intention to converse or play with others.

Parents tend to think that their kids are introverts. This can be partially wrong as in this case, the subjects can either be introvert or extrovert or a combo of both.

Addiction to a TV channel or technology can’t decide an individual’s actual nature as an introvert or extrovert. 

In this instance, extrovert children utilize their energy outwards towards technology, socializing online, playing video games, or watching their favorite show on the internet. On the other hand, the introverts remain busy with the excessive activities they found through the usage of the internet and technology that become over-stimulating after some time. This is because these activities with technology are noted allowing them recoiling inside themselves to the subjective thoughts and ideas of their own.


Do introverts and extroverts go well together?

Though both are different from each other, yet an introvert child can mingle well with an extrovert child. The saying ‘Opposite Attracts’ works here. They balance each other well.

Do introvert kids possess a higher IQ?

It is observed that most of the introvert children are gifted. In fact, introversion grows with intelligence. As per studies, over 75% of people with over 160 IQ are introverts.

Can extrovert parents raise introvert children or vice versa?

Extrovert or introvert parents should appreciate the difference. It is a golden opportunity to open up to the unfamiliar. Cherish the new experience that the kids of opposite nature bring in. Recognize the unique value and focus on them to upgrade the quality of life and upbringing of the children.

Is there anything common between introvert and extrovert kids?

The two personalities are polar opposites. Both of them need to recharge after socializing with each other. 

Is it necessary to talk to the teacher about the personality of the child?

Yes. If your child is an introvert, do inform the school teacher that he/she will take more time to participate in a class activity. It will help the teacher to support the introverted child and take care of him/her. Also, the kid won’t feel neglected or overshadowed by other classmates. 

Also, if you are parenting an extrovert child, keep the teacher informed about his/her personality. Many times, extrovert kids just imagine things and make up stories that are not true. For example, your only child may say that he/she has a younger sibling and many pets at home which is untrue. But, here, he or she is not misleading anyone.

The little kid is just making a social connection with other people and being a child, he/she doesn’t have a sense of right and wrong. Hence, whatever came in mind is uttered. You must teach the kid about the importance of honesty separately to overcome this trait. 


Extrovert kids are outgoing and make many friends, whereas introvert kids are reserved and make rare friends. However, he/she is, your personality traits may differ from your child. But, never forget that both introvert and extrovert children’s chances for success and happiness are abundant.

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