Reasons Children Do Not Share Their Teenage Problems with Parents:

Is your teenage son or daughter angry and frustrated all the time? Having Teenage Problems with Parents. Huh!!

Does your teenager exhibit violent behavior?

Are you worried about your teenagers’ lack of interest in meeting people and socializing?

Anger, violence, Frustration, Depression, and Isolation are some of the common issues faced by teens.

These peculiar behaviors are a result of some underlying problems such as self-image issues, bullying, peer pressure, abuse, and so on.

However, adolescents do not prefer to share their teenage problems with their parents as they are unsure about your response.

Parenting teens is a challenging task. You are always worried about the whereabouts of the child, his/her activities, lack of interest to communicate with you, and the seemingly endless fights about trivial issues.

Though these issues seem to be impossible to handle, there are some useful tips to overcome the challenges faced by parents of teenagers.

These tips will help you to control the chaos and guide your teen to transition through the tough teenage years and help him/her blossom into a well-rounded adult.

Before you know about the tips to handle teenage problems, it helps to understand why adolescents prefer not to share their teenage problems with parents

Teenage Problems with Parents

Lack of Good Rapport

Most parent-child relationships lack rapport. This is one of the main reasons why children drift away from their parents.

They get close to their friends and depend on them for solutions to their problems. This, in turn, results in risky behavior, addictions, peer pressure, etc.

As a parent, you have to work towards developing a good rapport with the child. This requires consistent efforts from both parents.

You have to spend time with the child and discuss issues that are bothering them. It helps to have open communication with the child to encourage him/her to discuss any issue that is bothering them.

Lack of Mutual Respect

Mutual respect is one of the foundation stones for building a strong and close relationship with your teenager.

The pet peeve of most teenagers is a lack of respect from their parents. They do not like being treated as children and crave respect and validation. 

It is your duty as a parent to acknowledge the feelings of your child. You have to respect their views and opinions. Make them a part of the discussions and ask for their views.

Ask them for their point of view before taking any decision pertaining to their life. It will make them feel respected and they will show you the same respect. 

Developing mutual respect will help you to handle challenges faced by parents of teenagers like defiant behavior, rebellious attitude, endless fights, etc.

It will help the child to develop individuality and also teach them to respect everyone around them.

Lack of Trust

Teenage children complain that their parents do not trust them. They feel that discussing teenage problems with parents is a waste of time as parents do not understand the underlying reasons for the problem but blame the child. 

Show your teens that you trust them with all your heart. This will make them feel responsible for their actions.

They will not hesitate to share information about their activities or discuss any problems as they are aware that you will trust them and give positive advice. 

Now that we know the 3 main reasons why children do not share their problems with parents, let us discuss some helpful tips to overcome the challenges faced by parents of teenagers.

Lack Of Understanding

It is a common problem with almost all parents and teens that parents think they have been through all of this and will understand everything.

Kids have always believed that their teenage problems are one of a kind and no one, even their parents can understand them.

Most of the time, both of you are right. Parents don’t understand most things and knowingly or unknowingly term it as a “no big deal” when your kid is stressed about it.

It proves their point, and they stop sharing with their parents.

It Will Stress You

Most parents think that if their kids understand how stressed they are how much they are doing for their kids, they will become responsible.

Yes, your kid understands many things, but he need not be burdened with your stress. Sometimes, kids think that their parents are already stressed, and sharing their problems with them will only increase that stress. 

So, they keep it inside themselves, and thus you miss out on the important part of their lives. Parents must understand that they are grown-ups; their kids aren’t.

You can handle hundreds of things, but there is a limit to which you must share your stress with them.

Tips to Overcome Teenage Problems with Parents

challenges faced by parents of teenager

Show Love and Empathy

Teenagers are going through tough times mentally and physically. They crave acceptance, love, and empathy from their parents.

Connect with your teen on a daily basis. Have dinner together or go for a walk. Put your phones away and give complete attention to the child.

Let them know that you are always there to address their concerns, whenever they need you. Initially, they may be skeptical but once they are sure that you will not judge them, they will gradually open up.

Pay Close Attention to Their Behavior patterns

Sometimes depression and other mental health disorders may be the reason for your teen’s weird behavior. You have to pay close attention to any sudden changes in their behavior.

Some red flags are low attendance at school, General lack of interest in life, low self-esteem, drug abuse, alcohol addiction, risky behaviors, screen addiction, bullying, etc.

Identify behavior changes and get timely help from professionals to bring back your teen to normalcy before it is too late.

Learn More About Your Kid

Kids are more open on social media today than in real life. Their Facebook status or Instagram posts will reveal more about their current mindset.

Also, you can talk to their friends if they are not ready to spill.

Talking to their parents is also a great way to see if there is something they know from their kids which might be stressful, such as a test in a school for which they are not prepared.

Yes, you might be more concerned about why they are not prepared, but let it go for a while and help your kid in every way to overcome the problem.  

Share Stories With Them

Your kids might think that you don’t understand, but sit down with them if you have figured out that it’s a heartbreak they are dealing with or multiple tests on the same day. Of course, they won’t volunteer the information.

So, tell them stories about your teenage years and how one time you landed in such a problem and how you overcame it. Maybe they will find a solution to their problem in your story or will share theirs with you.

Kids are innocent, and this trick can be effective. And don’t forget to make hot chocolate to accompany the discussion.

If You Can’t Understand, Then Don’t

Indeed, parents don’t understand their kids’ problems many times. And if you think that it is trivial, keep it to yourself.

Don’t understand why it matters so much that your kid is ready to skip a meal over it. Just listen and say, “Oh, this is a real mess. But you will get over it.

I trust you.” This simple line is way better for them than, “Oh, it’s nothing.” Teenagers consider every problem as a hyper problem.

An example is how the smallest pimple can make them lose their sleep. So, be supportive.

They Need An Ear, Not Orders

You can’t solve all of your kids’ problems and you shouldn’t. Every time you solve one of their problems, for them, you are being an obstacle in their individual growth.

Kids don’t always come to you for a solution, but for support. Don’t say, “Let me handle it”, instead, “You can do it, and if you can’t, you know where I am.”

They need to grow up as a strong individual and learn to solve their problems on their own, with you behind them.

Take Out Some Fun Time 

Your kids may act like they are not interested in doing things with you, but the reality is just the other way round. You must take out time for them and have some fun.

Go to meni-pedi sessions with them, or go for a quick bite to your kid’s favorite deli. These sessions won’t solve their problems, but they will get relaxed and calm.

Both of you get to know each other in a different light when you spend some one-on-one time. It boosts confidence and opens the passage for open communication.

Add Balance To Your Teen’s Life

You can also enroll them in out-of-school programs that develop an understanding of the world around them. These experiential learning programs will broaden their understanding and help them to make new connections.  

Lastly, you have to remember that taking care of yourself is important too.

Handling teenagers can be exhausting and sometimes you may lose your cool. But remember teenager is a passing phase and it won’t last forever.

Tell yourself that both you and your child will get out of this critical phase together and develop a strong bond for life.

You can connect with other parents to discuss the challenges faced by parents of teenagers and find out ways to overcome them.

You can enroll in support groups or take help from therapists and professional counselors. 

 

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